Inner Revolutionary Men

Inner Revolutionary Men is TheInnerRevolution.Org’s Men’s Group. We have come together to liberate ourselves from the deeply held constraints that have isolated us from ourselves, one another, our families and our world.

We offer periodic retreats on topics relevant to our desire and commitment to foster an “Inner Revolution” within ourselves and our world. We also conduct online meetings that take place every other week through web conferencing. We welcome anyone else who feels compelled to join us.

Currently, the men of the Inner Revolutionary Men’s Group are reaching out to other men’s groups to share our video “Men and Sexual Harassment: Let’s Stop Judging and Let’s Start Helping” to help create a movement where we change what it means to be a man — and build a culture to enables us get our true needs met: our needs for love, caring, connection and real support. Please watch the video below and follow the link at the end to join the conversation.

Please take the time to learn more about us and what we’re up to by reading our Mission Statement below and contact Todd Benton at 760-613-6761 or todd@theinnerrevolution.org for additional information on our Inner Revolutionary Men series of retreats and our online meetings.

Inner Revolutionary Men’s Mission Statement

Men have built bridges, made discoveries in science and plowed lands. But now we are challenged to use our strength to achieve a much higher goal: to tame our egos and learn to partner with our deeper natures, women, children, other species and one another. Instead of trying to conquer life, let’s focus on enhancing it. Instead of using our gifts to win wars, let’s use our gifts to end them. Instead of devoting our lives to winning, proving and striving, let us devote our lives to helping alleviate suffering and bringing our love into every corner of the earth.

Men are in a unique position to help our world become a more peaceful and nurturing home for humanity and other species. To a large extent, our history has been dominated by ego – the need to win, prove ourselves or get something for ourselves and “our own,” and that has led us to overly rely on competition and violence. This shows up everywhere – from our sports fields, to our homes, to our workplaces, to our political battlefields, foreign and domestic. The need to win has often led us to sacrifice our own good, as well as to hurt women, children, other species and the planet itself. The good news is that, with many of us still in positions of relative power in our homes and in our world, we have in our hands important levers of transformation. In other words, when men change, our world can more easily change.

Both men and women are dominated by ego, but we are here to look at our part as men. When we look honestly at human society, we see alarming numbers of people lashing out at one another, filled with hatred and distrust. We see families full of power struggles, anger and sometimes even physical violence. We see our prisons stuffed with men, especially economically disadvantaged and the mentally ill. We see racism, sexism and discrimination based on gender identification. We see a world where the dollar sign trumps caring for one another and the planet. We see addictions running rife. And we see human-made climate change ruining our children’s future.

What does that have to do with men? Everything. While men have dominated the planet in service to our egos, we have disempowered ourselves, women, children and one another through our attachment to ways of being that don’t serve us. We have elevated power over compassion and self-centered interests over the common good. It’s enough.

Inner Revolutionary Men is a group of men standing up to business as usual. We support one another to free ourselves from the domination of the old models of what it is to be a man. We reject our socialization where we have been trained to over-rely on competition, to be in relationships of domination and/or dependence, to suppress feelings so as not to appear weak or vulnerable and to conform in order to get ahead, often at the expense of expressing our true natures.

We are ready for a change, an Inner Revolution, a new, more authentic way of being men. Men and The Inner Revolution is a group dedicated to that vision. And we make specific commitments that can help us to make that vision possible.

The Three Commitments of an Inner Revolutionary
Oneness

Men or women, we are One. We are all deeply feeling individuals, who experience much the same pain and joy, frustration and fulfillment, fear and love. Men or women, we all also need self-expression and self-realization, freed from the limitations of traditional roles based on gender or any other distinction not intrinsic to who we truly are. Being One, we feel one another’s pain, and so equality and self-realization for all is necessary for our own self-realization. If all men took on the commitment to Oneness, the world would immediately become a more loving and sustainable place. We would cooperate to find meaningful and permanent solutions to problems that seem unsolvable – from our homes, to the marketplace, to the international arena. And we would welcome the partnership of women and children around the world. We would all be more empowered.

Accountability

Everything we do matters, and our thoughts, actions and attitudes impact us and one another. When men commit to accountability, we commit to examining our every thought, belief, feeling and action, so we can evaluate its impact on ourselves and others. We also commit to changing everything and anything about ourselves and our world that causes needless pain and blocks us from our individual and collective potential. As we embrace our accountability as individuals and as men, we pause and re-examine our relationships to one another, others and even other species. At first, we might feel ashamed or even threatened, as we acknowledge our current or historic negative impact and the need for change.  But, together, we can face our fears and our shame and embrace the humility that allows us to transform.

Mutual Support

Although we might all have moments of personal happiness, we can thrive only in a thriving world. When those around us are in pain, under-utilized or dysfunctional, our world doesn’t work. When men commit to Mutual Support, we commit to include in our perspective the needs of the whole and to dedicate every decision to the highest good of all, including us. In this way, we actively co-create a more supportive world for us all. As men we acknowledge that in a world where women are dominated, we are losing the gifts of more than half our population. And we acknowledge that where other peoples are dominated, we lose their gifts as well. If everyone were thriving, we could actually relax and feel nurtured, now able to trust that the people around us are focused on the same goals. If we gave up domination, we would be released from the negativity of others’ resentment and our conscious or unconscious fear of being toppled. And if we stopped feeling that we HAVE to be dominant to be seen as men, we would be able to release ourselves from the shame and embarrassment we feel when faced with the reality that we aren’t ever in total power or control. We would know a new peace.

By embracing these principles and practices in every arena of our lives, we believe that men would change and our world will change too. But in order to practice these principles, we also need to develop three habits: Courage, Self-Awareness and Transformation, all of which allow us to fulfill on our commitments. We commit to developing those habits.

The Inner Revolution and Authenticity

The final point of this very brief statement is that “real men” are real not because we fit some power image created by our egos and collective prejudices, but because we are authentic.  As real men, we can choose cooperation and Oneness rather than competition and domination; we can choose connection rather than posturing; and we can become true leaders and a blessing to all. We want that.

Inner Revolutionary Men is a service group ofTheInnerRevolution.Org, a nonprofit educational corporation and a community that meets in person, via phone and online. Our work is based on the principles, tools and practices contained in the book Living with Reality, written by TheInnerRevolution.Org founder Beth Green. For more about our many services go to http://TheInnerRevolution.Org. And follow us on Facebook, at Beth Green and The Inner Revolution.

Our current activities include the following:
  1. Biweekly support call. We meet online every other Tuesday evening in a video conference call. We welcome anyone else to join this call to see if their being on this call would be a good fit for them and for us.
  2. Men’s Retreats. We have periodic retreats every 3-4 months on topics relevant to our desire and commitment to foster an “Inner Revolution” within ourselves and our world.
  3. Other Activities
    1. We produced a video entitled “Men and Sexual Harassment: Let’s Stop Judging and Let’s Start Helping”, featuring men of the group discussing the question of why so many men act out in sexually inappropriate ways and what we can do to change these patterns. We are currently sharing this video with other men’s groups and reaching out to the news media to offer our perspective on how to change the male culture. 
    2. We organize groups to watch the documentary film “The Mask You Live In,” directed by Jennifer Siebel-Newsom, and lead discussions regarding the topics raised in the film. This documentary challenges us to “face how boys and young men struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity.” The viewings and ensuing disscussions are offered in a small group format to allow for meaningful sharing. Call Richard Di Santo at 760-518-8350 for more information.
Previous Campaigns and Activities
  1. Veteran’s Administration Hospital Outreach. We presented a program and skit at the San Diego VA Hospital to break down barriers between staff and veterans. We invited them to see one another not as an “other”but instead as having in common the fact that we all have disabilities, such as alcoholism, other addictions, cognitive impairments, etc. and that we can relate to one another as peers.
  2. Unleashing the Power of Kids: Mobilizing Them Through Fitness, Cooperation, Service & Thought. The I.R. Men co-sponsored this campaign with the Inner Revolution.Org. We are concerned about the violence, bullying, over-competitiveness and self-centeredness in our world. This program introduced to kids cooperative games as an alternative to competition and violence, training our kids to feel the joy of being in a cooperative environment. They also had fitness activities and service opportunities, followed by a time of sharing. Kids were guided to examine their behaviors and feelings and discuss what it was like to engage in these kinds of activities with one another. This program was also taken into Adams Elementary School in the San Diego School District.

    We worked with a class of fourth graders who were having trouble cooperating with each other. This class experienced significant behavioral issues leading the teacher and principal to feel at a loss for what to do next. Some of the students felt very alienated from each other and many had been reprimanded frequently for their disruptive behavior. Working together with the principal and their teacher we created a program called “The Best Things About Me.” Kids got the chance to express the best things about themselves and also hear what is great about them from other kids in their class, as well as their teacher and the principal.The experience changed the way the students felt about themselves and each other.  Each child left with a certificate that included the positive traits identified by their classmates. We came back again on the last day of school and the kids wrote letters to be mailed over the summer describing how much one of their classmates meant to them. These processes as well as the love and connection we brought to the group enabled them to be calmer and the class was able to get back to learning. The principal, teacher and school counselor all saw the impact these experiences had on the children. They asked us to develop additional programs not only for the students but also for the teachers.

In the video below, men from our group open up about how their lives would have been different if they had a program like Super Supportive Sundays when they were growing up. Super Supportive Sundays was a project of the Unleashing The Power of Kids Campaign.

For more information about the Inner Revolutionary Men’s group or to join a call or activity, contact Todd Benton at todd@theinnerrevolution.org. 

Declaración de la Misión Hombres Revolucionarias de Interiores

Los hombres han construido puentes, hecho descubrimientos en la ciencia y las tierras aradas. Pero ahora tenemos el reto de utilizar nuestra fuerza para lograr un objetivo mucho mayor: de domar nuestros egos y aprender a colaborar con nuestra naturaleza más profunda, las mujeres, los niños, otras especies y entre sí. En lugar de tratar de conquistar la vida, vamos a enfocarnos a engrandeserla. En lugar de utilizar nuestros dones para ganar guerras, vamos a usar nuestros dones para acabar con ellas. En lugar de dedicar nuestras vidas a ganar, demostrando y luchando, vamos a dedicar nuestras vidas en ayudar a aliviar el sufrimiento y llevar nuestro amor a todos los rincones de la tierra.

Los hombres están en una posición única para ayudar a nuestro mundo a convertirse en un hogar más tranquilo y enriquecedor para la humanidad y otras especies. En gran medida, nuestra historia ha sido dominada por el ego – la necesidad de ganar, probarnos a nosotros mismos o conseguir algo para nosotros mismos y “nuestro”, y que nos ha llevado a confiar excesivamente en la competencia y la violencia. Esto se muestra por todas partes – de nuestros campos de deportes, a nuestras casas, a nuestros lugares de trabajo, a nuestros campos de batalla políticos, nacionales y extranjeros. La necesidad de ganar a menudo nos ha llevado a sacrificar nuestro propio bien, así como hacer daño a las mujeres, niños, otras especies y el planeta mismo. La buena noticia es que, con muchos de nosotros aún en posiciones de poder relativo en nuestros hogares y en nuestro mundo, tenemos en nuestras manos las palancas importantes de transformación. En otras palabras, cuando los hombres cambian, nuestro mundo puede cambiar con más facilidad.

Ambos los hombres como las mujeres están dominados por el ego, pero estamos aquí para ver nuestra parte como hombres. Cuando miramos con honestidad a la sociedad humana, vemos un número alarmante de personas atacándose unos a otros, llenos de odio y desconfianza. Vemos familias llenas de luchas por el poder, de ira y algunas veces incluso violencia física. Vemos nuestras cárceles llenas de hombres, especialmente en desventaja económica y de enfermos mentales. Vemos el racismo, el sexismo y la discriminación basada en la identificación de género. Vemos un mundo donde el signo del dólar supera el cuidado de unos a otros y el planeta. Vemos las adicciones corriendo moneda corriente. Y vemos el cambio climático hecho por el hombre arruinando el futuro de nuestros hijos.

¿Qué tiene eso que ver con los hombres? Todo. Mientras que los hombres han dominado el planeta en el servicio a nuestros egos, nos hemos desapoderados nosotros mismos, a las mujeres, a los niños y los unos a los otros a través de nuestro apego a formas de ser que no nos sirven. Hemos elevado el poder sobre la compasión y los intereses egoístas sobre el bien común. ¡Ya basta!.

Hombres de la Revolución Interior de es un grupo de hombres que se levantan a lo de siempre. Nos apoyamos mutuamente para liberarnos de la dominación de los viejos modelos de lo que es ser un hombre. Rechazamos nuestra socialización en los que hemos sido entrenados para el exceso de depender de la competencia, estar en relaciones de dominación y/o dependencia, para reprimir los sentimientos, para no parecer débil o vulnerable y para conformarse con el fin de salir adelante, a menudo a expensas de expresar nuestra verdadera naturaleza.

Estamos listos para un cambio, una revolución interna, una nueva manera, más auténtica de ser hombres. Hombres y La revolución interior es un grupo dedicado a esta visión. Y hacemos compromisos específicos que nos pueden ayudar en hacer esa visión posible.

Los tres compromisos de Una Revolucionario Interior

Unidad – hombres o mujeres, somos Uno. Todos somos individuales con sentidos profundos que sufren el mismo dolor y la misma alegría, la misma frustración y cumplimientos, temor y amor.  Hombres o mujeres, todos también necesitamos la autoexpresión y autorrealización, libres de las limitaciones de los papeles tradicionales basados ​​en el género o cualquier otra distinción no intrínseca a lo que realmente somos. Ser Uno, sentimos el dolor de otros, y así es que la igualdad y la autorrealización para todos es necesaria para nuestra propia autorrealización. Si todos los hombres asumieran el compromiso de la Unidad, el mundo se convertiría inmediatamente en un lugar más amoroso y sostenible. Cooperáramos para encontrar soluciones significativas y permanentes a los problemas que parecen insolubles – de nuestros hogares, al mercado, a la arena internacional. Y le diéramos la bienvenida a la asociación de mujeres y niños por el mundo. Todos tendríamos más poder.

La Responsabilidad – Todo lo que hacemos importa, y nuestros pensamientos, acciones y actitudes nos impactan a los demás. Cuando los hombres se comprometen a la responsabilidad, nos comprometemos a examinar cada pensamiento, creencia, sentimiento y acción, para poder evaluar su impacto en nosotros mismos yen  los demás. También nos comprometemos a cambiar todo y nada acerca de nosotros mismos y de nuestro mundo que causa dolor innecesario y nos bloquea de nuestro potencial individual y colectivo. A medida que nos abrazamos nuestra responsabilidad como individuos y como hombres, nos detenemos y reexaminar nuestras relaciones con los otros, los demás e incluso otras especies. Al principio, podríamos sentir vergüenza o incluso amenazados, como reconocemos nuestro impacto negativo actual o histórico y la necesidad de cambio. Pero, juntos, podemos enfrentarnos a nuestros miedos y nuestra vergüenza y abrazar la humildad que nos permite transformar.

Apoyo Mutuo – Aunque todos podríamos tener momentos de felicidad personal, podemos prosperar sólo en un mundo que próspera. Cuando los que nos rodean sufren, son subutilizados o disfuncionales, nuestro mundo no funciona. Cuando los hombres se comprometen al Apoyo Mutuo, nos comprometemos a incluir en nuestra perspectiva las necesidades de todos y a dedicar cada decisión al mejoramiento de todos, incluidos nosotros. De esta manera, activamente  co-creamos un mundo más solidario para todos. Como hombres reconocemos que en un mundo donde predominan las mujeres, estamos perdiendo los regalos de más de la mitad de nuestra población. Y reconocemos que, cuando otros pueblos están dominados, perdemos sus regalos también. Si todo el mundo prosperara, en realidad podríamos relajarnos y sentirnos alimentados, ahora capaz de confiar en que las personas que nos rodean se centran en los mismos objetivos. Si dejáramos de dominante, estaríamos liberados de la negatividad de resentimiento de los demás y nuestro miedo consciente o inconsciente de ser derrocados. Y si dejáramos de sentir que tenemos que ser dominante para vernos como hombres, seríamos capaces de liberarnos de la deshora y de la vergüenza que sentimos cuando nos enfrentamos a la realidad de que nunca estamos en poder o control total. Conociéramos una nueva paz.

Al adoptar estos principios y prácticas en todos los ámbitos de nuestras vidas, creemos que los hombres cambiarían  y nuestro mundo cambiara también. Pero con el fin de practicar estos principios, también necesitamos desarrollar tres hábitos: Valor, la autoconciencia y la Transformación, las cuales nos permiten cumplir con nuestros compromisos. Nos comprometemos a desarrollar esos hábitos.

La revolución interior y autenticidad

El punto final de esta breve declaración es que “hombres  verdaderos” son real no porque encajamos alguna imagen de poder creada por nuestros egos y prejuicios colectivos, sino porque somos auténticos. Como  hombres  verdaderos, podemos optar por la cooperación y la Unidad en lugar de la competencia y la dominación; podemos elegir la conexión en lugar de la postura; y podemos llegar a ser verdaderos líderes y una bendición para todos. Es lo que queremos.

Hombres de la Revolución Interior es un grupo de servicios de TheInnerRevolution.Org, una corporación educativa no lucrativa y  una comunidad que se reúne en persona, por teléfono y por la red. Nuestro trabajo se basa en los principios, herramientas y prácticas contenidas en el  libro Viviendo con la Realidad, escrito por el fundador Bet Verde TheInnerRevolution.Org. Para más información sobre nuestros muchos servicios vayan a http://TheInnerRevolution.Org. Y síguenos en Facebook, en Bet Verde y La Revolución Interior.

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