On today’s InsideOut Forum Discussion Call, we delved into the inner workings of our relationships to understand whether we were colluding or showing compassion? And guess what! All of us saw that we were colluding! Why? Where does this prevalent pattern come from? Well, it turns out that there are some commonalities that we didn’t expect to find. One man shared that his parents were colluding to stay together until his mom decided it was over and she had to get a divorce, but all the men she went to in order to get the divorce told her she was making a terrible mistake, so the men were colluding to keep the woman in the home! Another caller reminded us that we collude to get others to like us, because we don’t like ourselves.
A woman on the call recounted how dramatically her elderly parents have colluded for over 60 years to avoid conflict and upset. The mom is given the status of the smart one who didn’t get to fulfill her potential and the dad got his freedom to work and travel for work, as long as she was one up in her role. This woman has a terrible time not colluding in all her relationships, to not contribute to or possibly create any conflict in others. Another woman shared how she colludes with her ego, one of the favorite pastimes, apparently, of
the ego, which tries to get us to collude with it. For this particular woman, she thought she was colluding with her roommate and friend because things were going so well, she thought they must be colluding, but actually, it was just the ego making her think they were colluding, so they wouldn’t be so connected. Sneaky, huh?
Another woman shared that she is always colluding to avoid conflict with her husband, but that she listens to her ego, too, which is constantly telling her she should leave him or quit her job or run away from whatever she cannot collude her way out of! How many of us think that if we can’t keep perfect harmony and peacefulness going at all times that there is something definitely wrong that should be avoided? What is your brand of collusion? Can you see it in your marriage, with your in-laws? Do you do it with your children or your boss? Join our online Forum where it is safe to be real. We promise we won’t collude with you!