Table of Contents

Preface: Who We Are & What We Could Be……………………………. xvii
Acknowledgements………………………………………………………………xxi
Introduction: Ego, Instinct & Evolution: Are We Ready to Change?……………………………………………………………………………….1

  • The Myth of Creation………………………………………………5
  • The Shame of Existence………………………………………….18
  • I Am Meant to Exist……………………………………………….27
  • And We Can Be a Blessing………………………………………32

Living with Reality……………………………………………………………….37

Section I—The Human Condition Who We Are………………………39

Chapter 1. What Is Reality, And Why Is It
So Hard to Live With?……………………………………………41
Our Perceptions Are Limited, Individually
and Collectively, to What We Can See………………………42
We Each Exist in Our Own Subjective World…………….47
Our Egos Have Designed Behaviors
to Cope with Our Subjective Experience……………………52
Reality Gets in the Way of Our Wants,
Desires & Plans……………………………………………………..57

Chapter 2. The Human Condition: The Pain & Fear that
Drive Us……………………………………………………………….59
Pain……………………………………………………………………..59
Fear……………………………………………………………………..60

Chapter 3. The Fear and Pain of Disconnection………..65
Why Do We Feel Disconnected?………………………………65
Disconnection from Ourselves…………………………………66
Disconnection from Others……………………………………..74
Disconnection from the Process of Living………………….80

Chapter 4. Changing Our State Addictions & Fantasy..86
Overeating and Anxiety…………………………………………..88
Alcohol and Loneliness……………………………………………88
Rage and Lack of Control……………………………………….88
Sex and Lack of Validation………………………………………89
Work and Insecurity……………………………………………….89
Co-Dependence and Fear of Loss of Love…………………..90
Placating God and Fear…………………………………………..90
Higher and Higher…………………………………………………90
Addiction to Fantasy………………………………………………91

Chapter 5. Who We Are & What We Could Be…………………………96

Chapter 6. How to Get There – Learning to Live with Reality:
An Outline of Our Program…………………………………….98
Are We Ready?………………………………………………………98
The Nine Platforms of Living with Reality:………………..99
How the Program Works……………………………………….100

Section II—The Platforms – What We Could Be
& How to Get There……………………………………………………. 103

A Few Reminders Before We Start…………………………………105

Part 1. Partnering with Others: The First Four Platforms….. 107

Platform One: Becoming Oneness – The Essence of Who We Are.109

What Is Becoming Oneness?………………………………….109
What Are Some of the Blocks to
Becoming Oneness?………………………………………………112
How Do We Become Oneness?………………………………118
Positive Habit One: We experience ourselves as one.
As such, there is no “them” and “us.” Everyone is
real, of equal value and equally connected to me……..119
Positive Habit Two: We realize that all of us feel
powerless and fear our needs won’t be met.
We let go of trying to control each other, as we
learn to practice cooperation instead……………………..122
Positive Habit Three: We support each other’s
success and wellbeing…………………………………………130
Positive Habit Four: When we see a quality in
others that we dislike, we say, “I am that.”
When we see in others qualities that we like,
we say, “I am that,” too……………………………………..135
Tool: I Am That……………………………………………………139
Positive Habit Five: We acknowledge that sometimes
we have to cause others pain. Before we do so, however,
we examine our motives to the best of our ability.
Once we decide to make the intervention—whether
it is a verbal confrontation or an action—we stay
connected to them through the process……………………140
Positive Habit Six: We acknowledge our need for
intimacy, and we acknowledge our fear of losing
ourselves. At the same time, we connect to the
totality of ourselves and trust that by connecting
to that totality, we can afford to take the risk.
We have compassion for ourselves and others,
and instead of losing ourselves in relationships,
we learn through them. We stay connected to
our higher consciousness……………………………………..146
Positive Habit Seven: We let go of the fantasy of the
perfect parent, mate, boss, friend, God, or self and
embrace a relationship with an evolving parent,
mate, boss, friend, God, or self. We let go of the
idea of perfection in life and refocus on evolution…….157
Repeat of Tool: I Am That……………………………………..161
Platform One: Becoming Oneness
Some Final Comments………………………………………….162

Platform Two: Becoming Differentiated – Individuation in the
Context of Oneness…………………………………………………………164

What Is Differentiation?………………………………………..164
Merging: Its Definition, Cause and Harmful Effects….165
The Difference between Merging & Oneness……………166
The Value of Individuation……………………………………169
Some of the Blocks to Our Own Individuation…………173
Differentiation Instead of Separation……………………….182
How Do We Become Differentiated?……………………….194
1. Call ourselves to consciousness moment by
moment about the behaviors and attitudes
that hurt us and others………………………………………195
2. Commit ourselves to choosing a different path,
which promotes all to reach their potential……………..195
3. Confront the urge to merge with the people
around us or the negative attitudes or behaviors
that are our own habits……………………………………..196
4. Acknowledge that we are like the people from
whom we wish to differentiate; that we carry
the energies, attitudes and behaviors that we
may not like……………………………………………………197
5. Connect to our higher consciousness to recognize
what behaviors or attitudes we prefer to energize……..197
6. Find the divine or human support to choose
those behaviors and attitudes………………………………199
Tool: Shifting our Energy………………………………………..200
When Do I Need to Leave?……………………………………201
Developing the Habit of Differentiation………………….202
Final Thoughts – Choosing Our Support: The Key
to Differentiation…………………………………………………203

Platform Three: Becoming Co-Creative – How We Relate to the Universe……………………………………………………………….205

What Is Becoming Co-Creative?……………………………..205
The Value of Co-Creation……………………………………..206
But I Thought We Created Reality!…………………………208
Unintentional Co-Creation……………………………………209
Intentional Co-Creation………………………………………..210
The Process of Co-Creation…………………………………..210
Blocks to Becoming Co-Creative…………………………….211
The Habit of Seeing Ourselves as Either
Powerful or Powerless……………………………………………217
Changing Our Paradigm……………………………………….218
Intention and Allowance……………………………………….219
How We Become Co-Creative………………………………..224
A Few Final Thoughts on Intention & Allowance……..241

Platform Four: Becoming Mutually Supportive – Living Oneness..245

What Is Mutual Support?………………………………………245
How Do We Typically View Support?……………………..246
Definition of Mutual Support………………………………..248
Mutual Support versus Interdependence…………………..255
A Word on the Highest Good of All………………………..258
Why Would We Want to Practice Mutual Support?…..259
Obstacles to Mutual Support………………………………….265
Fears that Are Obstacles to Mutual Support
What About Me?………………………………………………….265
Fear of Looking Selfish: Self-Sacrifice as an
Obstacle to Mutual Support…………………………………..267
What Is Selfishness?………………………………………………269
Self-Care or Self-Indulgence?………………………………….270
How Do We Become Mutually Supportive?……………..282
Can I Practice Mutual Support in a World
that Doesn’t?………………………………………………………..285
The Mutual Support Tool: Asking for That
Which Is for the Highest Good of All……………………..288
Some Final Comments on Becoming
Mutually Supportive……………………………………………..295

Part 2. Partnering with Ourselves – The Second
Three Platforms……………………………………………….. 299

A Few Comments to Introduce Our Next Section……………………..301

Platform Five: Becoming Self-Aware – The First Step toward
Self-Mastery…………………………………………………………………..303

What Is Becoming Self-Aware?……………………………….303
Cause and Effect………………………………………………….304
The World of Shadows………………………………………….306
What Is Self-Awareness?………………………………………..315
The Obstacles to Self-awareness……………………………..318
Why Would I Want to Become Self-Aware?………………336
How to Become Self-Aware……………………………………342
Stimulus, Reaction, Response:
The Programmed Self……………………………………………343
Watch Your Feelings and Behavior:
Everything Is Information……………………………………..350
Question All Our Assumptions………………………………351
Choosing Self-Mastery………………………………………….354
Tool: How We Intervene Between Reaction
and Response………………………………………………………..355
When We Intervene Between Our Reaction and
Response, We Give Up Emotional Blackmail……………359
Tool: How We Intervene Between the Stimulus
and the Reaction……………………………………………………362
Surrendering Using Emotions as a Drug…………………..366
Tool: Intervening at the Level of Stimulus…………………..367
What Do We Do When We Can’t Figure It Out?………369
Awareness of Our Energy………………………………………374
Tool: Whose Feelings Are They?………………………………..380
How Can I Strengthen My Energy Self?…………………..381
Tool: Tools for Strengthening Our Energy Body……………383
A Few More Thoughts About
Becoming Self-Aware…………………………………………….387
Tool: Taking a Nightly Inventory of Ourselves……………..389

Platform Six: Becoming Integrated – Gaining More Command
Over Ourselves……………………………………………………………….391

Stage One: Overcoming the Domination of
Aspects of Ourselves……………………………………………..392
What Is Becoming Integrated?………………………………..393
Aspects of Ourselves……………………………………………..394
What Are the Blocks to Becoming Integrated?…………..396
Why Do We Want to Become Integrated?………………..399
Being Dominated by Our “Needs”………………………….399
How Does the “Need” for Love Impact
Me and My Relationships?…………………………………….400
How Do We Become Integrated?……………………………406
Tool: Release the Need……………………………………………407
Summary of What We’ve Learned So Far………………….408
Stage Two: Overcoming the Domination
of the Ego…………………………………………………………..409
What Is Becoming Integrated?………………………………..409
Why the Ego Is So Out of Balance………………………….410
Additional Thoughts, Feelings or Attitudes
that Indicate that Our Egos Are in Charge:………………411
How Does the Ego Block Integration?……………………..413
The Ego Blocks Us from Integration
with the Divine……………………………………………………419
It’s Not the Ego’s Fault!………………………………………….422
The Evolution of Ego. This Is the Revolution.
Let’s Do It!………………………………………………………….425
The Liberation of the Ego……………………………………..427

Platform Seven: Becoming Accountable – Awareness, Amends and Transformation…………………………………………….429

Introduction………………………………………………………..429
Becoming Accountable—Facing the Damage……………430
What Is the Damage the Ego Creates and
Who Pays?…………………………………………………………..431
What Is Becoming Accountable?…………………………….434
How Do We Become Accountable?…………………………435
Part One: Becoming Aware: Seeing Our
Accountability……………………………………………………..435
What Are the Blocks to Becoming Aware
of My Accountability?…………………………………………..436
So What Are We Accountable For?………………………….436
Hurting the Person vs. Hurting the Ego…………………..444
Why Would We Want to Become Aware
of Our Accountability?………………………………………….445
Part Two: Making Amends……………………………………446
Blocks to Making Amends…………………………………….446
Clues That We Owe an Amends……………………………..448
Is There a Time Not to Make Amends?……………………449
How Do We Make Amends?………………………………….450
Self-Compassion………………………………………………….452
What Is Making Amends?……………………………………..455
Tool: The Amends Process……………………………………….456
How Do We Use the Amends Tool?
Taking It Step-by-Step…………………………………………..457
How Do We Transform?………………………………………..466
What Do We Mean by the Dark Side?…………………….468
The Seven Dirty Secrets of the Dark Side…………………472
1. The Dark Side is the constellation of
negative energies that need a host to survive.
Don’t be lunch!………………………………………………..473
Tool: Don’t Be Lunch…………………………………………….475
2. The Dark Side runs the planet through
our complicity………………………………………………….475
3. Don’t try to fight the domination of the
Dark Side alone……………………………………………….481
4. Don’t fight against the Dark Side; fight
for yourself………………………………………………………483
5. The best way to fight the domination of the
Dark Side is to empower it…………………………………488
Tool: See Hurtful People as Lunch………………………….491
Tool: Sending Chi………………………………………………..493
6. The Dark Side does not run the planet;
The Source does, and The Source uses the
Dark Side to promote evolution…………………………..494
Tool: How We Turn the Tables on the Dark Side……….501
7. The Dark Side needs us to fight for ourselves,
so that it can evolve into consciousness and
return to The Source…………………………………………..502
Becoming Accountable: Regulating the Flow of Our
Energy………………………………………………………………..504
A Conversation between the Ego and the Dark Side, with
Amends between Humanity and the Ego…………………508

Part 3. Partnering with the Process of Living: The Final Two
Platforms……………………………………. 513

A Few Comments to Introduce Our Next Section……………………..515

Platform Eight: Becoming Not-Knowing – Becoming
Available to Higher Consciousness…………………………………….517

What Is Becoming Not-Knowing?…………………………..518
What Is Higher Consciousness?………………………………519
Beliefs………………………………………………………………..521
Where Does the Need to Appear to
Know Come From?………………………………………………522
What Is Our Fear of Not Knowing?………………………..525
Beliefs Are Just Beliefs; We Actually
Don’t Know Anything…………………………………………..530
Why We Need Beliefs……………………………………………532
Agendas………………………………………………………………537
How Do We Become Not-Knowing?………………………540
Releasing the Need to Know………………………………….540
Releasing Agendas………………………………………………..543
Releasing a Life Purpose………………………………………..547
The Bottom Line on Agendas:
They Are Ego Based……………………………………………..554
Releasing Agendas………………………………………………..558
Tool: Releasing Agendas for Specific Outcomes……………..558
Tool: Release a Life’s Purpose……………………………………559
Walking the Path of Not-Knowing………………………….559
Why Would We Want to Become Not-Knowing?………561
How Do We Know We Are Hearing Higher
Consciousness?…………………………………………………….563
Tool: Some Tips to Develop Our Capacity
to Be Guided………………………………………………………..563
Final Words…………………………………………………………565
Tool: Remember to Ask…………………………………………..566
A Conversation Between the Ego and Us…………………567

Platform Nine: Becoming Becoming – Relaxing
into the Process of Living…………………………………………………568

What Do I Mean by a Transformational Moment?…….569
Level One: Living Life as a Series of Transitions………..570
Level Two: Living Life as a Journey to an
Unknown Destination…………………………………………..572
Some Further Thoughts on Attachment to
Goals and the Relationship Between
Goals and Shame………………………………………………….574
Making Room for the Miraculous…………………………..578
One Final Thought: What about
People with No Goals?………………………………………….580
Level Three: Living Life as a
Transformational Moment…………………………………….580
How Do We Live Life as a
Transformational Moment?……………………………………581
Becoming Becoming:
There Is No This or That………………………………………584
There Is No Here or There…………………………………….585
Everyone’s Job is to See and Confront
Their Own Weakness……………………………………………589
Facing a Challenge through Using Compensation……..591
Facing a Challenge through Asking for Help…………….592
Facing a Challenge through Persevering……………………593
Transforming through the Challenge
So That the Weakness Is No Longer There……………….595
Facing a Challenge through Allowance with Grace…….596
Level Four: Becoming Becoming—Being Guided
by Divine Consciousness……………………………………….598
Why Are We Here?……………………………………………….598
How Do We Become Becoming?…………………………….599
Releasing Horizontal Relationships…………………………600
What Is a Vertical Relationship?……………………………..602
What Is the Purpose of Our Guidance?……………………603
Releasing Our Fear of Consequences……………………….607
What Is Becoming Becoming?………………………………..610
Living with Reality, Unleashing the
Power of The Source……………………………………………..611
Tool: Unleashing the Power of the Source……………………612
Back to the Beginning: The Myth of Creation…………..613
What About Fear & Pain?……………………………………..616

Epilogue: Where We Have Come……………………………………………619

Appendix A: List of Tools………………………………………………………623

Appendix B: Letter from The Stream August 2011…………………….635

About Beth Maynard Green…………………………………………………..643

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